If you have a wish to have children, you may want to know what to pay attention to. How quickly it happens varies enormously from woman to woman. Here's how your cycle works, which days you're most fertile, and what factors play a role.
How quickly does it usually happen?
It's completely normal if it doesn't happen right away. Of all women trying to conceive, about a third are pregnant within 3 months, around 70% within six months, and 80% within a year. If it still hasn't happened after a year, that's a good moment to talk to your doctor or midwife. If you're 35 or older, this already applies after 6 months.
Your cycle, in short
Every month, your body goes through a series of steps to make pregnancy possible.
First, an egg matures in your ovary, while the lining of your uterus thickens to support a potential pregnancy. Then the egg is released: this is ovulation. Around this time, you're most fertile. If the egg isn't fertilized, your body sheds the lining and you get your period. Then the cycle starts again.
Cycle length varies from woman to woman: around 28 days on average, though anywhere from 21 to 35 days falls within normal variation.
When are you most fertile?
Your most fertile days are around ovulation. An egg can only be fertilized for about 12 to 24 hours after it's released, but sperm can survive in your body for several days. That's why having sex in the days before ovulation, not just on the day itself, already increases your chances.
Not sure exactly when you ovulate? Having sex every 2 to 3 days is a solid rule of thumb, since that's roughly how long sperm stay viable. You don't need to have sex every single day to improve your chances. A strict schedule often adds more pressure to an already stressful time than it helps.
It's worth knowing the reverse is true too. Ovulation doesn't always land on the same day every cycle, and it can shift because of stress, illness, travel, or simply from one month to the next. That means the days outside your fertile window lower your chances of pregnancy, but they don't rule it out completely. If you're tracking your cycle for any reason, it's good to keep that uncertainty in mind rather than treating any day as a guarantee, either way.
Certain body signals can hint that ovulation is approaching: discharge that becomes clearer and stretchier, sometimes mild cramping in your lower abdomen, and in some women a small rise in body temperature shortly after ovulation. Ovulation tests, which measure a hormone in your urine, can also help if you'd rather track this more objectively.
What affects your fertility?
Fertility is never one simple factor, and several things play a role for both women and men.
- Age. From around age 35, fertility gradually declines, and this effect is stronger in women than in men. This doesn't mean pregnancy is no longer possible, most pregnancies later in life go smoothly, but it can take longer.
- Weight and diet. Both being underweight and being overweight can lower your chances of conceiving. A healthy, varied diet and a folic acid supplement are recommended when trying to conceive.
- Lifestyle. Smoking, alcohol, and drug use all have a demonstrably negative effect on fertility, in both women and men. Long-term stress can also disrupt your cycle, which can make it harder to get pregnant.
- Work environment. Exposure to certain chemicals, radiation, or a highly stressful workplace can temporarily affect your fertility. If this applies to you, it's worth discussing with your employer or occupational physician.
- Medical factors. Certain conditions can affect your cycle or fertility, as can certain medications. If you're unsure, always talk to your doctor, who can advise you and refer you further if needed.
- For the man. Age plays a smaller role for men than for women, but lifestyle (diet, weight, smoking, alcohol, stress) also affects the quality and quantity of sperm.
What if it doesn't happen?
Sometimes it just takes a bit longer, without anything being wrong. But if it hasn't happened after a year of trying (or after 6 months if you're 35 or older), it's worth discussing with your doctor or midwife. Together with you and your partner, they can look at whether further investigation makes sense.
